I had a mini panic attack over the weekend – my first unprompted panic attack in a long time. Honestly, I had no idea what was happening because it was so uncharacteristic of my episodes in the past. I felt like I was trembling, but my hands weren’t shaking. My heart felt like it was racing, but my pulse was steady. My mind felt foggy and I felt like I could pass out. As I stood in the cereal aisle at the grocery store counting my heartbeats, I realized I had to talk to someone.
My cousin is a nurse, which makes her my go-to for health questions. Before I could finish describing what happened, she told me I was experiencing a mini panic attack. She had one herself a few weeks ago after doing too much and not sleeping enough. While we sat in my car talking about life, I began to feel the anxiety lifting off my shoulders. I guess sometimes verbalizing your thoughts is the best thing you can do for anxiety.
“Are you pushing yourself too hard?”
Yesterday I wondered: “Are you pushing yourself too hard?” Honestly, there are days I don’t feel like I’m pushing myself hard enough, despite the amount of work on my plate. With unfinished To Do lists, loads of dirty laundry, and unanswered emails at the end of a day, I feel unaccomplished as I lie in bed. Why can’t I be proud of what I’ve done? Who am I disappointing if I don’t do it all?
If you’re wondering what a day is like for me, let’s look at my To Do list today. I have to write three blog posts, edit photos, paint two bathrooms, and take care of my family. In a perfect world, I’d complete it all by bedtime. In the real world, not everything will be done.
In my efforts to do it all and the feelings of failure when I can’t, I’m exhausting myself physically and emotionally. I’m forgetting about the whole “self care” thing and walking around with a left eye that won’t stop twitching.
You can’t run on an empty tank.
One of my favorite quotes is something about not being able to run on an empty tank. Whether its a tank of love, a tank of energy, or a tank of joy – we can’t make it through a day (or life) with an empty tank. My mini panic attack this weekend has reminded me to make time to refuel my tank. A combination of love from my family, energy from my blog successes, and joy from the beauty around me should be enough.
Friends – here’s my PSA for the week. Take a moment today to stop what you’re doing, inhale deeply, then exhale out what’s holding you back from living the best life you deserve. ♥️ We all need to remind ourselves to quit trying to be stronger than we feel. Strength comes from knowing your weaknesses and overcoming what you feel holds you back.